The Story of Your Life

If you were the main character in a book written by your favorite author, what would you want your story to look like? Where would it take place? What would you do? Who would be your supporting characters? Now, look at the cover. Don't judge it. And don't skip to the end. Just take your time and flip through the worn pages. Get comfortable, because you will be here for a while.

While reading The Amazing, Beautiful and Complicated Story of You (that title is working and open for interpretation, of course), maybe you will find marked highlights of magical and beautiful moments that moved you so much, you never want to forget them. Or maybe, you will come across the jagged remains of missing pages that have been ripped out from the times you wish you could forget. Maybe you will laugh out loud hysterically. Or maybe. There will be pages that catch your inked tears...

While reading your story, do you like who you are? Is it everything you dreamed it could be?

Let me say that again. Is your story everything you dreamed it could be?

I hope you say yes.

This past year, I asked myself these same questions and found myself saying no. I started to begin to search for answers. My heart longed for a something else. This life that I lived would never interest me because I was constantly trying to be like other people and keep up with the social "norms." I needed to find out who I was, who Eliza was.

So, I picked up a pen. Started crossing things out, and began re-writing. I found new words to define who I am; Confident. Strong. Adventurous. Loving. Enough….I found new characters who began teaching me amazing things about life and allowing me to open up again. I revisited old characters because at times when you feel most alone, that's when you really learn how to be a friend. I visited my favorite places, as far as Alaska and as close as the local farmer's market. I closed chapters and opened new ones. And began doodling along with the words that now suddenly became poetic. I changed my story because I wanted to change my life. And decided that no one can write it but me. Not even my favorite authors (okay fine. Portia De Rossi. You can take a stab at it.)

I don't know how my story will end. But I truly hope that it will be filled with adventure, passion, vivacious life, and a love that moves mountains. Right now, I'm simply trying to find peace reading what's on the page in front of me. It's the hardest thing I've ever done, taking everything one day at a time. I skim the words with my finger. I turn the page softly, and savor the story. Even in it's incompleteness, I am still whole. And I am still beginning. Even though my pages are weathered. Worn. Torn out. Rippled from catching inked tears. I still know, that the very best moments of my life are up ahead. I desperately hope that you know that too.